Hard things

Originally I planned to delete this blog. I figured I could just start a new one. On my own. I'm doing a lot of new things on my own lately. I guess that comes with divorce. But as I placed the mouse over the remove button, my heart sank deep inside and started to ache a little more.
This blog has been my diary since we got married. And although the posts have been few in numbers, they had so much meaning. As I went back and read some of them, I realized how real they were, the emotions, the words had so much meaning....really they still do. They had meaning of a real love. A love that we felt. Although, J Tyler and I are no longer together, and we are going our separate ways, we really loved each other. In fact, we still do. It's just a different kind of love. Divorce is hard no matter how you put it. And in this situation, we have been blessed. It was a mutual decision, a hard one. BUT we know it's for the best. And although our hearts long for answers to obvious questions, like why us? Deep down, we know there are lessons to be learned, and sometimes things like this happen.

I like to think we are strong, and sometimes God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soilders. Right now, I don't really understand. I just continue to live off the faith I do have, that in the end, everything is going to be okay.

I am going to leave the previous posts. That will allow me to look back from time to time on my first true love. And the happiness we shared with each other.

For now, I am just focusing on me. I am going to work my tail off. Save money and travel. I am going to spend time finding me, I feel like I have some soul searching to do. If there is one thing I have learned it's that I HAVE TIME, TIME IS ON MY SIDE. I am young. I have my fears and frustrations. So it's time, I take a little time to work through them.



Family and friends, I am so grateful for the love and support. My heart is aching, but I have so much hope because I have got so many people on my side.


and J Tyler, thank you. Thank you for loving me. And for giving me the chance to love you. I have had the time of my life with you. And I will never forget everything you gave me. I know this is the right thing for us, even though it's hard. I am so glad I can still call you my best friend. And that you still have my back.


xoxoxo
-I'm a Grieder again.